Felis Domesticatus vs Canis Lupus
by AppleCiderVinegar
Summary: The DADA position has been refilled again, this time by a young American. But she does something that no one else did before her. She goes to someone with experience for advice. That someone is Remus Lupin, who thinks that she's nuts. broomphobic!Remus
1. The Beast Within

Title: Felis Domesticatus vs Canis Lupus

Alternate title: Of Cats and Dogs

Rating: T (for swearing and lewd comments, cattishness)

Authoress: Rena Kaerutsukai

Summary: The cursed Defense Against the Dark Arts position has been refilled again, this time by a young woman. She does something that no other holder of this position has done, though: goes to the only available previous DADA professor for advice. That ex-professor is Remus John Lupin, who thinks that the new professor is a bit off her rocker. But they may just have more in common than he thinks. (implied SBRL)

Prologue: The Beast Within

* * *

The feel of bones shifting and twisting, face stretching to form a small muzzle, spine extending to form a tail, the painful prickling sensation of fur sprouting from every inch of flesh, every part of her body aching painfully as she whimpered, the last of her humanity leaving her as she shrank to her new form.

She sat back on her haunches and mewled piteously, green eyes glowing in the darkness, seeking for new prey. Her white tail flicked to and fro, as she crossed the room to her food and water dishes reserved for this night alone. The window above was brightly lit, as the light of the full moon reflected off of the thick white fur.

The cat yowled to the moon, dragging her claws down the wooden desk in frustration at the lack of prey. Suddenly, a mouse crawled from under the baseboards. Deadly green eyes widened, pupils expanding to block out the iris as the cat slunk through the darkness, preparing to pounce. The mouse scented the cat, but too late. She sprung at her prey, and caught the mouse by the tail under her paw.

From outside the little house, the only sound was the squeal of a mouse, cut short by the delightful crunching of bones.

* * *

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His clothes had been calmly removed and stored away (there seemed no point in staying clothed, since if the transformation didn't ruin the clothes, the wolf certainly would). This was the first time in three years when he would sacrifice his mind to the wolf during the transformation, thanks to the fact that his supply of Wolfsbane potion had run out. He involuntarily shivered. The transformation was starting. First came the unpleasant shifting of internal organs, and the painful growing and rearranging of his bones, as his face extended and his mouth split to form the lethal jaws of the wolf and bristly fur emerged from his flesh like millions of tiny needles pushing their way out of his skin. Intelligent hazel eyes changed to glittering yellow, and ears moved to the top of his head, stretching to the long ears of the wolf.

The tawny creature howled at the full moon, a haunting cry that sent all creatures in the surrounding forest scurrying for cover. A sniff to the air told his sensitive wolf senses that a human had been here. The large animal immediately set to turning everything in the room upside down in search of the human, destroying everything in his path with claws and teeth. Frustrated, he let out another howl as the moon reflected off of his thick tawny fur flecked with grey. Sniffing again, he found the human scent on him! With a vicious, slavering snarl, he clawed and bit at himself viciously, trying desperately to purge the human scent from his body, not caring that he drew blood.

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* * *

She awoke the next morning, curled in a ball, cold and naked on the floor. Her room looked like it had been hit by a very small tornado, and blood was spattered on the wall near the corner. Her brow furrowed, and she flipped her white locks out of her face, walking over to see what exactly had bled. Ah, she thought when she saw the hairless tail, so that's where the blood came from.

"Poor little mousie..." She said mournfully, putting the remains in a little soapbox retrieved from the bathroom to bury in the yard later. She found her wand in her nightstand and flicked it, cleaning the blood off the walls and setting her room in order with a silent and well-practiced spell. She took the box outside, grabbing her trowel on the way to dig the hole with.

* * *

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He awoke the next day, cold and naked in the rickety bed. Deep gashes and scratches covered his body, and the sheets underneath him were stained with blood—his own. Shivering, he willed himself to get out of bed and dress the wounds that he knew needed to be dressed. There had been nothing in the room to ruin, save the bed, which had already been ruined enough in previous transformations. He pulled himself out of bed, staggering slightly and growling at the new pain in his wounds. He walked painfully over to the cupboard out of the wolf's reach where he kept the bandages. As he walked by the window, he noticed that it was broken. That explained the stinging ache on his face. With a sigh, he slowly went about dressing the wounds that couldn't wait, thinking only about going back into his actual house and sleeping for two or three days.

Hm, yes, sleep sounded very good about now. He finished dressing the wounds, and looked resignedly at the hiding place for his clothes. His hazel gaze traveled to the beaten, broken bed, and he deduced that right now he hadn't the strength to even get back to his actual house. Sleep here was as good as sleep anywhere else. He crawled back into the bed, not even caring about the bloody sheets, and lie there, slowly drifting into blissful painless sleep.

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Alright, dear reviewers, you have no sodding idea just what I had to go through to post this, nor would you believe me if I told you. Just please...review? I'll fight to get chapter 1 up as soon as I can.


	2. That Floo Do That You Do

Title: Felis Domesticatus vs Canis Lupus

Alternate title: Of Cats and Dogs

Rating: T (for swearing and lewd comments, cattishness)

Authoress: Rena Kaerutsukai

Summary: The cursed Defense Against the Dark Arts position has been refilled again, this time by a young woman. She does something that no other holder of this position has done, though: goes to the only available previous DADA professor for advice. That ex-professor is Remus John Lupin, who thinks that the new professor is a bit off her rocker. But they may just have more in common than he thinks. (implied SBRL)

Chapter one: That Floo Do That You Do

Felicia Mayfair was curled up in front of her fireplace, her white locks down and framing her face as the light from her special laptop sent a pale glow to her face. Her brow was knit in determination, her pink tongue sticking out of her mouth slightly, as her green gaze was focused solely on the glowing screen in front of her.

What was she doing, you may wonder?

"Oh, _damn_! Lost another hand!" She swore, pounding her fist against her sweats-clad leg. The screen laughed.

"It isn't _our_ fault that you suck at kemps." a voice jeered from the speakers. That's right, folks, Felicia was playing _Wizarding_ _Kemps_ with her computer.

"Cram it up your cramhole. You _charmed my hand_ to _sing_ when I had kemps!" Felicia yelled.

"Ah yes, and what a song it was, too." A female voice tittered.

"'There's a hole in my undies, dear Johnny, dear Johnny! There's a hole in my undies, dear Johnny, a hole!'" A third voice sang. The other two burst out into gales of laughter.

"I hate you all," Felicia said, blushing brightly and adjusting her rounded glasses. "Remind me why I even play with you guys again."

"Because your social life's a mess." The first voice said.

"And you have no friends." The second voice added.

"Oh yeah, now I remember." Felicia said icily, before pressing the power button on her laptop. "I hate those guys." She muttered sulkily, slamming the top of her laptop shut and setting it off the sofa. Not moments after doing this, a green flash disrupted the fire in her fireplace, and an older woman's face appeared in the flame. Felicia hissed involuntarily, taken by surprise.

"Hello, Miss Mayfair." The floo-caller said. "My name is Minerva McGonagall, and I have a business proposition for you." The woman's stern tone reminded Felicia of her grandmother, only this woman seemed nicer. And more British.

"Pleased to meet you, Mrs. McGonagall." Felicia said. "I'm interested to hear about your offer. Do continue."

"I am the assistant headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and it appears that we have an opening on our staff for a Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Now, the purpose of this visit is to inform you that while reviewing candidates for the position, your name came up." Felicia looked intrigued.

"Really? You mean, I'm hired?" She asked.

"Well, not quite. You see, Miss Mayfair-"

"Oh, call me Felicia."

"Very well, Felicia, there are many new regulations on Defense Against the Dark Arts professors. As you live in America, and have been involved in no suspicious activity, I can only assume that you aren't in league with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?"

"Oh no, of course not. That moron rubs me the wrong way." Felicia said, expression steely.

"Very good," McGonagall nodded. "Then, if you could floo to the Leaky Cauldron in Diagon Alley, precisely two weeks from this date _with_ your luggage, I will arrange for someone to meet you." Felicia nodded, taking a moment to thank the higher powers that she was a were_cat_ instead of a werewolf, as werecats were less likely to harm themselves during the full moon. She had so far been able to hide her condition for years.

"Oh, and one last thing, things are quite dangerous here in England. Be inconspicuous and carry your wand on your person at all times." McGonagall warned. Felicia nodded. A smile appeared on the older woman's face.

"Good, very good, I'm sure you'll do marvelous. Good day, Miss Mayfair." The green in the fire vanished, as did McGonagall's stern features. The fire resumed its crackling. Felicia looked around at her shelves upon shelves of books, and her extensive CD collection (mostly Queen, Styx, the Beatles, and modern soft alternative), and sighed.

"How am I going to get this all into my suitcases?" She asked somewhat hopelessly. She went into her loft bedroom, dragging her suitcases out from under her bed. They were large red flashy things, and she knew that she'd have to do some serious charmwork to get all of her clothes and books and CDs and her laptop (though that had its own separate bag, which admittedly could also carry a few books and CDs and a change of clothes) into those two suitcases.

She sighed again, and then decided to procrastinate by going back downstairs and curling up with a copy of _Good Omens_ by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. Burying her nose in the Apocalyptic adventures of Aziraphale the bookish angel and Crowley the Queen-loving demon with a '26 Bentley, Felicia curled comfortably in front of the fire once again, this time imbedded in a book instead of a game of Kemps.

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Wow, the site is cooperating again. It's trying to make me look like an idiot. Anyway, I know everyone hates OC chapters, but this was necessary. There won't be anymore for a while.


	3. What Do You Want Me to Do Exactly?

Title: Felis Domesticatus vs Canis Lupus

Alternate title: Of Cats and Dogs

Rating: T (for swearing and lewd comments, cattishness)

Authoress: Rena Kaerutsukai

Summary: The cursed Defense Against the Dark Arts position has been refilled again, this time by a young woman. She does something that no other holder of this position has done, though: goes to the only available previous DADA professor for advice. That ex-professor is Remus John Lupin, who thinks that the new professor is a bit off her rocker. But they may just have more in common than he thinks. (implied SBRL)

Chapter 2: What Do You Want Me To Do Exactly?

McGonagall waited a week for Remus to recover from the recent full moon before she Apparated to a spot a few metres away from Remus Lupin's current residence. She walked with the grace of a cat and the confidence of a woman of considerable years to the front door and knocked. A few moments later, the kindly-looking werewolf opened the door. He was dressed in a sweater and a pair of comfortable slacks. His prematurely greying tawny hair was parted to one side, and he looked more ill than normal. Warm hazel eyes softened when he saw who was at the door.

"Ah, Minerva, what a pleasant surprise," he said with a kind smile. "I was just about to have some tea. Would you care for a cup as well?" He asked pleasantly, stepping aside for her to enter.

"That sounds lovely, Remus," She said with a pleasant smile. Minerva stepped inside the humble house, slightly amazed at the number of books. Then, she thought with a smile, the Remus that she had taught was quite the bookworm. She sat down at the small table politely.

"So then, Minerva, what brings you to my door?" Remus asked, after the tea was served. He was indeed genuinely curious. Honestly, he would have thought that the assistant headmistress of Hogwarts had better things to do than make courtesy calls on Order members. Minerva put her hands around her cup, and smiled at Remus.

"I have come to ask you a favor, actually." Minerva said. "As you are likely aware, the Defense position has yet again been left empty." Remus nodded, expecting her to ask him to return, at least temporarily. He prepared to tell her no, that it wouldn't be wise for him to return after the incident two years prior.

"The new professor will be flooing in from America in a week. But she likely hasn't taught a class before, and certainly not with our...accelerated curriculum." Well now Remus was surprised. An American professor with no prior experience? What an odd choice for a Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, especially in these troubled times.

"Then what caused you to choose her, if you don't mind me asking?" He asked.

"She received top marks in Defense during all of her years at New Salem Witches Academy, and she used to be part of a...pest removal team, if you will. Boggarts, Cornish Pixies, and the like." Minerva said. She withheld the rest of Felicia's impressive--if short--resume. "The favor that I'm going to ask of you, Remus, is would you pick her up at the Leaky Cauldron in a week, and explain to her the details of her job?" Minerva asked. She had a feeling that Miss Mayfair would need a bit of advice and who better to give advice than the extremely tutorial Remus, who had taught the subject before?

"I would be happy to, Minerva." Remus said with a smile. "Around what time should she be arriving?"

"I would expect around noon," Minerva said. Remus nodded. And on that note, they fell into friendly conversation, until each had finished their cup of tea. Minerva rose to leave, and Remus stood as well.

"This has been pleasant, Remus." Minerva said. "And thank you again." Remus walked her to the door, opening it for her.

"It's my pleasure," he said with a warm smile. "Do stop by again." He said, waving as she walked off. The werewolf shut the door and poured himself another cup of tea, going to the sofa to nurse it while pondering what, exactly, he had gotten himself into. After a while, he stood, setting his teacup down, and walked over to one of his bookshelves. He prided himself on having so many books that some version of the Dewey decimal system could be—and had been—applied to his collection. He pulled a small book from between two much larger ones, having had the random urge to reread it (he also prided himself on having read all of his books at least once). It was a duet between two British authors, about the coming of the Apocalypse.

The title? _Good Omens_, by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. He curled up on the couch, opening the book to its first page.

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Chapter two already? Review please!


	4. What Are You Doing Here, Aziraphale?

Title: Felis Domesticatus vs Canis Lupus

Alternate title: Of Cats and Dogs

Rating: T (for swearing and lewd comments, cattishness)

Authoress: Rena Kaerutsukai

Summary: The cursed Defense Against the Dark Arts position has been refilled again, this time by a young woman. She does something that no other holder of this position has done, though: goes to the only available previous DADA professor for advice. That ex-professor is Remus John Lupin, who thinks that the new professor is a bit off her rocker. But they may just have more in common than he thinks. (implied SBRL)

Chapter 3: What Are You Doing Here Aziraphale?

Felicia looked around her house, at the shelves of books that she had to leave behind. In the end, she had only packed her many Defense texts and a few books for the purpose of enjoyable reading. _Good Omens_ was one of them. It still remained one of her favorite books, second only to _Les Miserables_, which, due to its hefty size, had had to be left behind.

She felt in her pocket to be sure that her minimized suitcases were in there, and looked around for anything she'd forgotten. She walked over to the fire, taking a pinch of the green floo powder from the ceramic urn that looked like it should have held the remains of a deceased ancestor. Ducking into her fireplace, she stood upright, her head in the chimney. One final thing to check: she felt in the special holster at her side for her wand. Yes, the ivy wood and centaur hair wand was there. She gave a sigh of relief.

"The Leaky Cauldron, London!" She yelled clearly, throwing the powder down. She disappeared in a flash of green, leaving her little house behind.

Remus Lupin sat at a table in the Leaky Cauldron, sipping a drink in between pages of _Good Omens_. He had forgotten just how engrossing this book was. He only looked up when someone entered the Leaky Cauldron, either by the door or by floo. He had a feeling that none of the people he was seeing were the young woman he was supposed to pick up. For one, none of them were American, and that seemed a huge giveaway. He looked up at the arrival of yet another person by floo, a young white-haired woman who shook soot out of her hair as she emerged from the fireplace. She walked over to the bar and ordered a butterbeer. Of course, she didn't speak loudly enough so that Lupin could pick up on her accent, but he deduced what she'd ordered by the butterbeer that was handed to her. She paid for her drink, and walked across the room to the table opposite Remus'. He went back to his book, his intelligent hazel eyes flicking up over the top of his book every now and then to watch the young woman. Something wasn't right about her.

After tumbling out of the fireplace, Felicia walked to the bar to order a butterbeer and wait for her escort. There was a man sitting alone at a table, his nose buried in a book, his tawny hair hiding his eyes from view. Part of Felicia wanted to go sit near him, but the overwhelming scent of _dog_ drove her to the other side of the room. She pulled her copy of _Good Omens_ out of her backpack and started reading, giggling slightly at the paintball scene with Aziraphale and Crowley. Occasionally she'd look over at the man across the quaint tavern. Once, his hands moved off of the cover of his book. Felicia's eyes widened as she saw the UK cover of the exact same book that she was reading. She smiled, and decided to go over and talk to him. But first, a bit of a clothes change. She transfigured her clothes black, just like Crowley's. She walked across the room to the bookish man.

"Hey Az'raphale, what are you doing in a place like this?" She asked with a friendly smile, using her own unique pronunciation of the angel's name. The man turned warm hazel eyes up to her, an expression of confusion on his face.

"I'm sorry, you must be..." He seemed to understand, and smiled. "Good day, dear." He said pleasantly. Remus noticed her American accent, and wondered if this was the new Defense professor at Hogwarts.

"Mind if I sit down?" She asked.

"Not at all." He said. "If I may be so bold as to ask your name, miss?"

"Mayfair. Felicia Mayfair." Felicia said sweetly.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Mayfair. My name is Remus Lupin." Remus said with a charming smile. Felicia decided that no man could be this nice without being "gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide", so to speak, or taken. Or both.

"Pleasure's all mine, Remus. So, who are you waiting for?" Felicia asked. "No one who'll get too jealous of me sitting here, I hope." She added with a grin and a wink.

"I'm waiting for a colleague." Remus said.

"Really? That's cool." Felicia said.

"And you? There must be a reason that a lovely young woman such as you would floo all the way to England." A light blush rose to Felicia's cheeks. Wow, this Remus was a real charmer, wasn't he? Too bad he reeked of _dog_, or Felicia might be interested.

"I'm the new DADA professor at a local wizarding school...Hogwarts, I think it's called. I'm waiting for the person who's going to kinda show me the ropes." She said. Remus stood up and extended his hand to her.

"Then, my dear Felicia, it will be my pleasure to introduce you to the details of your new position." Felicia's brow furrowed, then the right side quirked up. She expected a much older man, like with white hair, meaner and more...professor-ly...maybe with a primly pressed set of robes and a tie...or something...oh _hell_, Felicia didn't even know what she'd been expecting. But certainly not this young, albeit careworn, friendly-looking man (she could tell that he was young, even through the premature grey in his tawny hair and the sickly complexion) in shabby (though that was probably through no fault of his own) robes, who looked barely out of school himself.

"But...I mean, I was told that the man I'd be meeting was experienced in the subject, and was an old professor." Remus gave a slight sigh, though he could hear in her voice that she didn't mean any offense by it.

"I assure you, I was well-qualified to teach the subject when I was professor two years ago, and I still am." He said, not meaning to sound quite as terse as he did. The overall effect was still friendly, or at least not _un_friendly.

"Then why aren't you? Still professor, I mean." Felicia asked curiously.

"There were...insurmountable complications and I was forced to resign." Remus said.

"Oh...I'm sorry to hear that. I thank you for taking the time to teach me the tricks of the trade." Felicia said, hiding her nervousness quite well. Insurmountable complications? Oh God, what if he was some sort of a serial killer? Or what if it had something to do with that dog smell? What if he turned young women into dogs just to cook them up, eat them, and sell the skin to Japanese shamisen makers?(1) No, he didn't look capable of doing that. But looks could be deceiving, couldn't they? It was all Felicia could do to keep a shiver from running down her spine.

"Well then, shall we go for a walk? Perhaps to feed the ducks, hm?" Remus said with an amused smile. Felicia stood, slinging her backpack over her shoulder, and took his hand.

"Sure, let's go feed the ducks." She grinned.

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(1) A shamisen is a type of Japanese musical instrument. They really are made out of dogskin.


	5. Feeding the Ducks

Title: Felis Domesticatus vs Canis Lupus

Alternate title: Of Cats and Dogs

Rating: T (for swearing and lewd comments, cattishness)

Authoress: Rena Kaerutsukai

Summary: The cursed Defense Against the Dark Arts position has been refilled again, this time by a young woman. She does something that no other holder of this position has done, though: goes to the only available previous DADA professor for advice. That ex-professor is Remus John Lupin, who thinks that the new professor is a bit off her rocker. But they may just have more in common than he thinks. (implied SBRL)

Chapter 4: Feeding the Ducks

Remus and Felicia talked about various things as they walked deep into Muggle London, into St. James Park to the duck pond.

"It must be great living so close to the locations in _Good Omens_." Felicia said, tossing some bread out to the hungry ducks.

"Oh, I don't live anywhere near here." Remus said. "I live out in the country, near a forest." He threw the rest of his bread to the ducks.

"How quaint!" Felicia exclaimed, pitching the rest of her bread to the ducks as well. "It must be so peaceful, all alone out in the English countryside."

"Yes, I suppose." Remus said, his gaze turning outward, toward something far away.

"But it is kind of sad that you do live alone." Felicia said, tucking her snowy hair behind her ear. She turned toward Remus, a soft smile on her face. "I'm surprised." She turned and walked over to a park bench. Remus followed, after a moment.

"What are you surprised about?" He asked, sitting next to her.

"You're an attractive man, Remus." Felicia said softly. "You can't rightfully tell me that there's been _no one_." She said, not consciously _trying_ to flirt with him. She would have been, but as it was previously stated, he reeked of dog. Call her shallow, but this wasn't just the scent of someone who spent a lot of time with dogs. He almost smelled like he spent a lot of time _as_ a dog. And the cat in her reeled when she smelled it.

"There was, once." Remus said, almost to himself. Felicia decided not to pry: it sounded almost like Remus was unaware that he had even spoken aloud. She looked down at her feet. Remus came out of his sad trance, looking over at her.

"I understand that you had almost straight O's on your O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s." He started. "And you were especially adept at Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Good enough to be an Auror," Felicia said, green eyes sparkling. "If it weren't for my horrible marks in Potions, I would have been. In the States, we go by a different testing system. They're still called O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s, but we take them in third and fifth years instead of fifth and seventh."

"And then seventh year? No studying?" Felicia looked amused and slightly horrified as well.

"In seventh year, or Satanic Seventh as it was called, was the doozy of all tests. The test to end all tests, the test that determined not just whether or not you graduated, but also what it was possible to do with your life. If you only passed narrowly, it was believed, you might as well just off yourself then. And if you didn't pass...well, that was just something that no one liked to think about."

"How strange," Remus remarked. "And this...hellish test, if you will, what was it called?"

"The C.A.T.," Felicia said, in the hushed tone of voice that you used while telling a horror story to small children. "Or, Cruelly Administered Torture, as we liked to call it."

"Oh, yes, I've heard of the C.A.T. Truly, it didn't sound near as awful as when you described it." Remus mused.

"Yeah, well, I've just never liked tests. I always did well, except in Potions, but sometimes I just froze. And during the C.A.T.s, everyone in the school gathers for the climactic tasks, one for most subjects, but two for Defense." Felicia said. "I've always thought that the 'C' stood for Character, because during the tasks, everyone sees something that really no one else but the person should see."

"Oh? And what's that?"

"Everyone in the school sees the girl's greatest fear, courtesy of the Boggart that she has to face." Felicia said. "And her Patronus as well, though that's not quite as bad."

"That does sound horrible." Remus said, thankful for the fact that he had never been forced to take the C.A.T.s. As he played in his mind the scene that would have likely unfolded if everyone knew that his Boggart was a full moon, Felicia took advantage of his inattention to wander over to the lake and hunt for something like a child who likes to wander off. A frantic squeaking from the thrushes got her attention, and she walked over, pushed away the reeds, and gasped.

A dead female duck floated limply in the water, obviously dead due to the bite wounds in its neck. Something under its wing was apparently making the squeaking noise, and Felicia lifted the rigid appendage to find a duckling, practically newly hatched.

"Oh, how awful! Did you lose your mama, little fella?" She asked, squatting down next to the clump of thrushes and cupping the duckling in her hands. It shook itself, quacking softly, nuzzling against her thumb. Remus, his sensitive hearing picking up on Felicia's voice and snapping him out of his trance, walked over, bending down to examine the little creature. Felicia was oblivious to his presence, concentrated as she was on the baby duck in her hands.

"It'll be okay. I'll be your new mommy now, alright?" The little gold and black duckling quacked happily, spreading its flightless, downy wings.

"Now what should I name you? Oh! Hm...no...I got it! How about Pepper?" The duckling cocked its head, quacking curiously.

"Ah yes, naming the orphaned duckling after the female best friend of the Antichrist." Remus piped up amusedly.

"Well it's better than Dog, which was my first thought." Felicia laughed. Remus chuckled.

"Because a furry little duckling reminds you so much of a satanic hellhound and cat worrier," he said with only a slight bit of sarcasm.

"Fine then, what do you suggest?"

"Well, since I do believe that it's a _male_ duckling, perhaps Warlock?" Remus suggested.

"It's perfect!" Felicia squealed. The newly-named Warlock hopped up and down, sensing the excitement. "Whatcha think, Warlock?" Felicia realized the double-meaning of the name. Not only was Warlock the name of the supposed Antichrist in _Good Omens_, but also the commonly accepted (except in the Wizarding community) name for wizards. Felicia stood, still holding Warlock.

"Where to now?" She asked.

"Well, you should likely check in at Hogwarts," Remus said. "To make arrangements for the rest of the summer, and such."

"Yeah, you're right. Can Warlock come?"

"There doesn't seem to be a plausible reason why not." Remus said. Felicia nodded, slipping Warlock into the deep pocket of her navy blue coat. She adjusted her wand holster, the likes of which Remus had never seen before, and he wondered what the purpose of such an apparatus was, when a pocket worked just as well.

"I'm going to fly, just so I can know the way there." Felicia said, pulling what looked like a twig out of her pocket.

"If the way is a difficulty, I would be more than happy to take you." Remus said.

"Great idea, Remus!" She enlarged the twig, which was in fact her prized broom. It floated in the air, and she sat on it sidesaddle.

"Well, are you coming?" She asked.

"This wasn't exactly what I meant, Felicia," Remus started. "When I said that I'd take you, I meant that we could Apparate to Hogsmeade and walk to Hogwarts from there."

"I've actually never been much for Side-Alonging, actually, and I don't want to be a burden. Besides, I think Warlock will like this more," Felicia said, taking the duckling out of her pocket. She looked at it, a mock expression of exasperation on her face. "Your new Daddy's being contrary, isn't he Warlock?" She asked. The duckling looked from Felicia to Remus, and cocked its head.

"I'm not being contrary," Remus said. "Is it so horrible to dislike flying?" Felicia looked scandalized, and she gasped.

"You don't like flying!" She asked. "No, Warlock, don't listen! It's too awful!" She cupped a hand over the duckling's head.

"No, I don't."

"Just get on, I'll go slow." Felicia said with a sigh, putting Warlock back in her pocket. She flicked her wand holster and muttered a warming charm on her pocket. Remus still didn't get on.

"Don't make me 'Accio' you onto this broomstick, Remus Lupin." Felicia said warningly.

_Bit forward now, isn't she?_ A small part of Remus' mind sniped. Nonetheless, her threat did the trick. Reluctantly, Remus straddled the broomstick, adjusting for comfort.

"Help me cast disillusion before any Muggles see." Remus drew his wand, and Felicia took hers out too. Together they cast a Disillusionment Charm over themselves and the broom, and Felicia reholstered her wand.

"Hold on tight." She said. Remus had all of three seconds to react, before they shot straight upwards. Once they stopped, Remus made a face of extreme discomfort.

"Oh, sorry, forgot that the downward pull of vertical ascent was uncomfortable for guys. Well, that and I keep forgetting to refresh the cushioning charm." Remus just gave her a look. Likely this look would have been accompanied by a gesture of one sort or another, but Remus was too afraid to release his white-knuckled death grip on the broom handle, now that they were sitting easily 100 meters in the air.

"Where to, Remus?" Felicia asked amiably.

"Northwest, toward Edinburgh. I assume you know where that is?" Felicia shook her head. Remus sighed, looked around to get his bearings, gingerly took one hand from the broom handle, and pointed for a split second before an almost magnetic, violent force (that force being fear) drew his hand back to the broom. Felicia laughed.

"Right then, off we go!" She said, and the broom seemed to react to her thought. Remus, not having a discerning eye for brooms, didn't have any idea as to what kind of broom it was. Until it went 0 to 150 in ten seconds, that is. Then he had a pretty good guess.

And so it was that the witch, the wizard, and Warlock set off toward Hogwarts on the two and a half hour broom ride that just might drive poor Remus over the edge.


	6. We're Off to See the Assistant Headwitch

Title: Felis Domesticatus vs Canis Lupus

Alternate title: Of Cats and Dogs

Rating: T (for swearing and lewd comments, cattishness)

Authoress: Rena Kaerutsukai

Summary: The cursed Defense Against the Dark Arts position has been refilled again, this time by a young woman. She does something that no other holder of this position has done, though: goes to the only available previous DADA professor for advice. That ex-professor is Remus John Lupin, who thinks that the new professor is a bit off her rocker. But they may just have more in common than he thinks. (implied SBRL)

Chapter 5: We're Off to See the Assistant Headmistress!

Over the past half an hour of straight flying, Remus was quickly learning just what his phobias were, and the list was certainly growing. Why, there were four phobias that he had hardly even known that he had that had come up in the past thirty minutes of pulling 150 miles per hour toward Edinburgh. Those four phobias were aeroacrophobia (fear of open, high places), pteromerhanophobia (fear of flying!), tachophobia (fear of speed), and gynephobia (fear of women, though really that only applied to the one sitting in front of him). So far, he had only tightened his grip on the broom handle, while Felicia still sat side-saddle in front of him. Of course, to Remus it seemed that they had been traveling for well over four hours. Things tend to take forever when you have not one, not two, but four phobias concerning that one action.

Felicia, for her part, was enjoying herself immensely, singing songs to pass the time.

"_The bristles of the broom go swish swish swish, swish swish swish, swish swish swish! The bristles of the broom go swish swish swish, all through the toooown!"_ Eventually, her creativity gave out on her, and she looked briefly behind her, grinning devilishly at the thoroughly traumatized Remus.

"_The Remus on the broom goes-"_ here, the back of the broom wiggled of its own accord, and Remus shrieked. Not quite like a little girl, but almost. "_-ALL THROUGH THE TOOOOOOWN!"_ Felicia laughed. Remus glared.

"That wasn't nice. In fact, that was downright sodding evil." Remus growled.

"Lighten up, you party pooper." Felicia said.

"Oh, I'm a party pooper because you decided to scare me? Is that it?" Remus snarled tersely.

"Jeez Louise, I'm sorry, okay? I'll sing a different song." Felicia said. Something told her that it might be unwise to pursue the issue further.

"_Oooooh John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt! His name is my name too! Whenever we go out, the people always shout 'There goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt!'"_ Felicia sang. Remus suddenly had the urge to bash his head against a brick wall, or a silver...something. But instead, he just sat there, not daring to loosen his death grip on the screaming wooden deathtrap that was the broom that he was currently on, which might even be breaking 200 miles per hour by now.

'_Almost there, almost there, almost there,'_ Remus chanted in his head, eyes squeezed shut. Only...they'd really only gone about a fifth of the way. This was why Apparating had been invented, thought Remus. At least they were on the fastest broom on the market. He couldn't, he wouldn't, he absolutely refused to spend any more time on this broom than was necessary. Not that flying all the way to Hogwarts was necessary, he thought only slightly bitterly.

Two hours later, Remus had fallen into a frightened daze, his grip on the broom loosening only slightly as he thought '_Maybe this isn't so bad after all'_. Felicia noticed the huge castle ahead of them and slowed the broom down to an almost Remus-friendly speed.

"Hey Remus, that the place?" She asked.

"Mm-hmm," Remus nodded. "Watch out for that big tree over there."

"Why?" Felicia asked, steering away from it nonetheless. She headed toward the quidditch pitch.

"Because it's a Whomping Willow." Remus explained.

"Oh." Felicia said. A few more minutes of flying, and the broom jerked to an immediate stop. Remus jerked forward, his head banging against Felicia's shoulder blade.

"Hold on."

"What do you think I've been do-" the broom practically fell straight out of the air. "EEEEEEEE!" Remus shrieked, lifting slightly off the broom as it fell. The broom stopped abruptly, and he fell painfully back down onto the non-cushioned broom.

"Oh don't be such a baby." Felicia scolded, hopping off. Remus got off as well, stumbling a little bit before falling to his knees. "Pfft. Drama queen. Come on, you have to show me where to go." She hauled Remus to his feet by the elbow. After she checked to see if Warlock was okay (he was perfectly fine, if a bit ruffled from the flight), Felicia set off with Remus toward the castle, her broom in hand.

They made it through the confusing castle with no difficulty (which really shouldn't have been such a surprise to Felicia, as she figured that Remus _had_ attended this school, after all) and were at the office of the assistant headmistress.

"I'll stay out here," Remus volunteered. Felicia nodded. An older-looking woman opened the door in front of them.

"Oh, Miss Mayfair, I wasn't expecting you quite so soon." She said upon seeing first the white-haired young woman. "Good afternoon, Remus." She said politely after seeing him standing there as well.

"Good afternoon, Professor McGonagall." Remus said.

"Now, Miss Mayfair, if you'll just follow me, there are a few matters we need to discuss." McGonagall said, walking away from her office. Felicia followed. Remus walked off to explore the castle that was so very familiar to him.

"Miss Mayfair, Felicia, I'm afraid that your private quarters haven't quite been set up yet. You were quite specific, after all." Felicia nodded.

"Then what will I do until then?" She asked.

"Your quarters should be finished in a matter of weeks," McGonagall said. "Until then, arrangements can be made for you to stay with another professor."

"Can I stay with Remus?" Felicia asked. She wasn't really comfortable staying with anyone that she didn't know. Not that she knew much about Remus, but he was the closest thing to a friend that she had so far. And as for the full moon in a couple of weeks, surely Remus had a cellar or a shed where she could stay.

"I'm not sure if that's wise," McGonagall said cautiously. Felicia assumed that she meant because they were opposite genders.

"It's not like we're going to do anything; I mean, we just met." Felicia said in her indignant "you don't know anything you old bat" voice.

"I'm sure you're perfectly responsible," McGonagall said.

"Then what's the problem?" Felicia asked.

"Perhaps that's better discussed with Remus present," the older woman dodged. Felicia nodded.

"Is there anything else you needed to talk to me about?" She asked. McGonagall stopped in front of a door.

"This door leads to your classroom. Off of it is your office, and through a portrait of your choosing will be your private quarters, once they are finished." McGonagall said. Felicia opened the door and walked in.

"Whoa, cool!" She exclaimed in awe. Warlock quacked from her pocket, and she took him out.

"Miss Mayfair, is that a-a _duck_?" McGonagall stammered in shock.

"Yep, his name is Warlock." Felicia said proudly.

"And just _what_ are you doing with a duck?"

"You've never heard of duckmail?"

"No, no I don't think I have."

"I had a pet duck back in the states named Elphaba. My friend had a duck named Fiyero. We'd send our ducks back and forth with messages, and no one even knew that we were corresponding. No one suspects a duck." Felicia said with a wink. "And they're low-maintenance, too."

"I see," McGonagall said, clearing her throat. "Ahem. Well then, shall we continue our tour?" She led Felicia around Hogwarts, and they came to the Great Hall at around dinnertime. They ran into Remus, who had been exploring.

"Now then, I'm sure that the two of you must be hungry. Shall we finish up with dinner?" McGonagall clapped her hands, and a house-elf appeared.

"Would you bring something for the professors and me?" She asked. The elf nodded and disappeared. A few minutes later, food appeared in front of them on the staff table. Felicia poked at the dish, looking slightly afraid of it.

"It's only shepherd's pie, Felicia." Remus said. "It won't kill you." As if to demonstrate, he took a bite. Felicia took a bite and then, finding that she liked shepherd's pie, took another bite. The three ate in companionable silence, until their plates were empty. The plates magically vanished.

"So, Remus, my room won't be done for a few weeks. Is it alright if I stay with you 'til then?" Felicia asked sweetly. Warlock waddled across the table to stare, head cocked, at Remus.

"Professor McGonagall suggested that I stay with another professor, but I don't think anyone else would take kindly to Warlock."

"I suppose it would be alright," Remus said at length, somewhat reluctantly. "But there's one thing that you have to promise to do."

"Yes, yes anything." Felicia said.

"You mustn't go near the shed, no matter what." Remus said, utmost seriousness in his voice. Felicia nodded.

"Right, no shed," she said.

"Then it's settled. I'll send an owl when her quarters are finished." McGonagall said. "Thank you, Remus." At that moment, dessert appeared. It was different for each person: chocolate mousse for Remus, vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup for Felicia, and a treacle tart for McGonagall. Dessert, like dinner, was eaten in silence. After dessert, the dishes disappeared and the three stood.

"It was nice meeting you in person, Professor." Felicia said. "Remus and I have a long flight back."

"_No_," Remus said. "No, no, a thousand times no! I absolutely refuse to get back on that infernal badly-cushioned wooden deathtrap with you again!"

"It was only a two and a half hour flight!" Felicia argued.

"It seemed twice that long," Remus retorted.

"Fine, _fine_, we won't fly. But I refuse to Side-Along."

"We're going to Apparate from Hogsmeade." Remus said finally.

"No, we're not, because I refuse to Side-Along."

"You made me do something that I didn't want to do today." Remus pointed out. Felicia scowled, knowing that the wizard had a point.

"It was lovely seeing you. I'll see you, Felicia, in a matter of weeks." McGonagall said, waving them off.

"Good bye, Professor McGonagall." They waved back, walking out of the castle toward Hogsmeade. Everything was closed in the wizarding village, so Remus just took Felicia by the arm, and before she could protest, Apparated them both to his house.


	7. The Abode of the Bookish Bachelor

Title: Felis Domesticatus vs Canis Lupus

Alternate title: Of Cats and Dogs

Rating: T (for swearing and lewd comments, cattishness)

Authoress: Rena Kaerutsukai

Summary: The cursed Defense Against the Dark Arts position has been refilled again, this time by a young woman. She does something that no other holder of this position has done, though: goes to the only available previous DADA professor for advice. That ex-professor is Remus John Lupin, who thinks that the new professor is a bit off her rocker. But they may just have more in common than he thinks. (implied SBRL)

Disclaimer: Um...yeah...all HP characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and all GO characters (and names) belong to Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. Forgot to mention that earlier. I do own Felicia and the concept of duck mail. Yay me?

Chapter 6: The Abode of the Bookish Bachelor

* * *

After the shock of suddenly being in a new place wore off, Felicia wrenched her arm away from Remus. She staggered a bit, but was determined to stay upright and say her piece.

"I told you that I hate Side-Alonging." She said icily.

"Yes, but you never said why. Nor," Remus pointed out, "did my distaste for flying prevent you from dragging me on a broom. Apparating is very much the lesser of the two evils," he said logically, walking toward the homey cottage ahead. Felicia followed him, grumbling incoherently. Her attention, however, was grabbed by what looked to be a tiny house sticking out of the ground. From where she stood, a small window was visible.

"I assume that that's the shed you told me to stay away from?" She asked. A curt bob of the graying tawny-topped head in front of her was all that she got in reply. She sighed. Now she was curious, durn it. She couldn't even see a _door_ on the freaking little thing. What was it for? What did it hold? She was so curious, she felt like doing a little dance of restrained questions. It was like holding back a river. Forcing herself to look ahead, she cocked her head at the homey little cottage where Remus apparently lived. It was like a little storybook house, she mused with a smile. Remus put his key in the doorknob, and turned it. The door swung open. He stepped aside so that Felicia could go ahead of him.

"Ladies first," he said with a smile. Felicia stepped in, and immediately found herself in the kitchen, the dining room, and the living room all at the same time. Were the house a bit bigger, she mused, it would look like the library that the Beast gave to Belle. Pretty much all of the books were obviously either well-loved or secondhand. A few looked new but had so much dust on them that it was hard to tell. There was a shelf of what looked like Defense texts (mostly teacher's copies, with seven dusty student's copies on the end), and a shelf of what appeared to be the rest of Remus' old schoolbooks.

"Most of these books were inherited from my parents," Remus said softly, noticing the awe-filled way that Felicia was staring at his book collection.

"I have a pretty impressive collection from my folks too, back at home." Felicia said. "But it's not as impressive as this." She wandered around the room, looking at all the different books. Eventually, her gaze came to rest on the humble mantle. Three pictures sat atop it. She walked over, taking one of the photos from the mantle. Four boys grinned back at her from the photo. One was obviously a younger Remus Lupin, more lively-looking and without the premature grey in his hair. One had shoulder-length black hair and tumultuous grey eyes, his arm thrown over the younger Remus' shoulders. The third boy had a short crop of black hair, unruly and spiking up every which way, his large glasses sliding down his nose to show brown eyes. The fourth boy in the picture smiled shyly from underneath his sandy hair, the only one in the photo who didn't seem to share the same sense of camaraderie that Remus and the other two boys shared.

"This is you?" Felicia asked, pointing to the younger Remus. A sad smile appeared on Remus' face as he crossed the room to take the picture from Felicia's hand.

"Yes, it is." He said softly, gazing at the picture, his hazel eyes misting over with memory.

"And the other three?" Felicia asked.

"They are—were, rather—three of my dearest friends." Remus sounded wistful. "We were very mischievous, the four of us. I was the logical one." He sighed, putting the framed photo on the mantle. He just stared at it for a moment, and then pulled himself away.

"You'll sleep in here tonight." He said softly, motioning toward the cozy sofa. Felicia nodded, making a note to examine the rest of the photos later.

"May I interest you in a cup of tea?" Remus said; his tone friendly.

"Sure," Felicia responded with a smile. She sat down at the little table, and Remus set a pot of water on to boil. He went to the cupboard and got out two cups and saucers, setting one in front of Felicia and the other in front of himself as he sat down.

"Remus, can I ask you something?" Felicia asked.

"Certainly, Felicia." Remus said with a smile.

"Well, um, what's it like working at Hogwarts? I mean—is there anyone who I should be wary of?" She asked. Remus almost laughed.

"There is one person—a man who attended Hogwarts with my friends and I. He's had his eye on your position since he became part of the faculty, and he generally doesn't take kindly to the new Defense professors." He explained with a soft chuckle. "His name is Severus Snape. My advice would be to keep on his good side."

"I'll be trying to make a good first impression," Felicia said, taking a sleepy Warlock out of her pocket and setting him on the table.

"That's wise." Remus said, petting Warlock when the duckling came close. He and Felicia talked companionably until the tea kettle started squealing. Warlock added to the cacophony by quacking loudly, annoyed by the shrill noise. Remus got up and poured tea for him and Felicia, stopping the shrill audio assault of the tea kettle. Warlock ruffled angrily, nipping at Remus' fingers when the wizard tried to comfort the disgruntled duckling.

Remus sat back down after setting out the milk and sugar. He added a bit of both to his cup, sipping the milky tea. Warlock settled himself on the now-vacated saucer. Felicia, laughing at Warlock's antics and the expression on Remus' face, added sugar to her tea. As soon as she lifted the cup from the saucer, however, Warlock waddled over and settled on her saucer, allowing Remus the opportunity to set his cup down.

They amused themselves by playing with Warlock; taking turns each lifting their cups after the other. Warlock waddled from one to the other, quacking happily as his back end wiggled from side to side. At one point, he stretched his wings up and shook, standing in between his surrogate parents. This was too much.

Where both Felicia and Remus had been smiling amusedly, perhaps chuckling or giggling a bit, they laughed freely as Warlock seemed to call on the powers that be. Warlock sat down, preening adorably. Remus looked at the clock, and saw that it was past ten. It made sense, he mused, looking out at the mostly-dark sky. Felicia fought to hide a yawn, wishing that she hadn't pulled an all-nighter packing last night.

"Perhaps it's time to retire for the night," Remus said, smiling gently. Felicia let her yawn go, nodding through it. She pulled two sugar-cube sized boxes out of her coat pocket, setting them down and muttering a spell. She rummaged through her suitcases until she found what she was looking for: a set of pink pajamas, a glasses case, and a case for contact lenses. She took out her wand, and the case for contact lenses she transfigured into a small pool for Warlock, setting the little duckling in one side and filling the other with water. She carried the duck habitat to the only clear corner and set it down, before taking her glasses off and putting them in the case. She was left holding her pajamas.

"Where's the bathroom?" She asked. Remus smiled and pointed.

"Through that doorway, first door on the left," he said. She scurried off to the bathroom, forgetting one thing: to open the door. With a small "oof!" she fell down. Blushing furiously, she got to her feet and opened the bathroom door before darting in. Minutes later, she emerged in her pink pajamas that, Remus now noticed, had _kittens_ all over them. She messily shoved everything but her wand holster into her suitcase, sitting on it to zip it before returning both to their miniaturized state. She set them by the lamp at the end of the table. She surprised Remus by hugging him.

"Goodnight, Remus," she said with a smile after pulling back. "Thanks for letting me stay here."

"It's no trouble, Felicia," Remus smiled. "Goodnight." He walked out of the room, leaving Felicia with only the lamp. The door at the end of the hall opened and shut. Felicia walked over to the mantle, looking at the three pictures. On either side of the picture of Remus and his friends sat a picture. To the left was what looked like a wedding picture: the wild-haired boy—now a man, in the picture—standing with a pretty red-haired woman. The picture on the right side of the mantle was of the grey-eyed boy and Remus, looking happy. Felicia smiled, walking back to the couch and lying down. She pulled an empty pincushion and a small square of blue fabric out of her backpack, transfiguring them into a pillow and top sheet with a flick of her wand. She set her wand by the two tiny suitcases, and then snuggled under the top sheet. She clicked out the light and fell asleep almost right away.

* * *

Tomorrow's the full moon, so I have a surprise for all you darling readers! A full moon post! Yaaay! 

What happens when a werecat and a werewolf are in the same general vicinity on the full moon? Stay tuned to find out!


	8. Mr Moony Meets Miss Matched

Title: Felis Domesticatus vs Canis Lupus

Alternate title: Of Cats and Dogs

Rating: T (for swearing and lewd comments, cattishness)

Authoress: Rena Kaerutsukai

Summary: The cursed Defense Against the Dark Arts position has been refilled again, this time by a young woman. She does something that no other holder of this position has done, though: goes to the only available previous DADA professor for advice. That ex-professor is Remus John Lupin, who thinks that the new professor is a bit off her rocker. But they may just have more in common than he thinks. (implied SBRL)

Chapter 7: Mr. Moony Meets Miss Matched

* * *

Two weeks had passed since Felicia had moved in with Remus. Things had gone rather well, if Felicia was any judge. Warlock had lost his down, and was now on his way to being a full-fledged duck (if a bit of a pygmy).

And so it was on the full moon night, Warlock sleeping in his contact-lens-case-turned-duck-habitat, and Felicia watching anxiously out the window in Remus' bedroom, waiting for the moon to rise.

She didn't know where the wizard had gone off to. He said that he would have to stay in the shed tonight, though fathoming _why_ only tonight was beyond Felicia. She was just dense like that sometimes. He had told her to go ahead and sleep in his room tonight, and so that's where she was. She looked nervously around the immaculate room, just _knowing_ that although her feline self would break little, she would leave chaos in her wake. And because it wasn't _her_ room and she didn't know where anything was, she couldn't put it all back in order.

Remus wouldn't be happy if he found his bedroom trashed tomorrow. Felicia opened the door so that she wouldn't be trapped in the room after she transformed. She removed her clothes calmly, folding them and setting them on the bed. Outside, the full moon reached its apex. A shudder rolled over Felicia as the transformation started. The awful pain of contortion and condensation of muscle and bone, the sudden, stabbing prickle of the white fur sprouting all over her body, and the minute lengthening of the muscle was almost too much for Felicia to handle. She barely bit back a yowl of pain. Once her transformation was complete, she sauntered out the door, her white tail flicking excitedly as she set off to explore.

As Felicia was transforming, so too was Remus, and after his transformation was complete, the great tawny head of the wolf tipped back as he let out a chilling howl. This howl gave the cat that had been walking by pause. Her ears pricked with curiosity, and she jumped down into the tiny window well of the shed.

The wolf paused, sniffing the air. He smelled human, like he smelled every month, but more importantly...the proud tawny head snapped toward the window, yellow eyes narrowed as lips curled back in a ferocious snarl, a growl bubbling up from deep in his throat. He smelled a cat. He barked ferociously, slavering jaws large enough to crush the little cat snapping shut with each sound. The wolf stood on his hind paws to reach the cat, who realized – with an 'Oh _shit_' expression on her feline face – that there was nothing separating her and the wolf, save a precious few inches of air. The cat, mentally reciting a profane mantra not fit to be typed, scurried – claws fully extended – down the wolf's back and into the shed.

The canine howled in fury and pain, jumping down and turning around to face the little white cat. The cat met the wolf's yellow eyes with her glittering green, an open expression of challenge. The two opponents circled one another, not breaking eye contact. When the wolf advanced, the cat hissed and swatted at him, taking a step back. Finally, once the cat knew that she was close enough to a refuge to be able to get away, she broke eye contact and bolted under the bed. The wolf barked and snarled, his previous ferocity returning, as he madly tried to fit his large head under the bed to reach the scared cat. The cat crouched underneath the bed, her ears flat against her head and her fur standing on end, until finally the wolf started to tire and the moon started to sink. The adrenaline swept out of her, and she drifted off to sleep only after she was satisfied that the wolf had done so already. She didn't even give a moment's thought to the shabby clothes that she was comfortably curled up on.

-----

When Felicia awoke in the morning, naked and in the dark, the first thing that she noticed was the clothes that she was lying on. The second thing that she noticed was that for the first time, she was under a bed. Not near, or beside, but _under_. A slight groan brought her attention to thing number three: a very naked Remus J. Lupin lying just out of arms' reach. The expression that flashed across her face can only be described as 'OMGWTFBBQ". She did what a normal person in the same situation would do. She screamed. Remus started, hitting his head against the cast-iron bed frame.

"Felicia?" He shouted upon seeing the white-haired American under the bed, the hand that was absently rubbing his sore head now stilled.

"No, it's the tooth fairy," Felicia said with a roll of her eyes, shifting so as not to endanger her dignity. "What are you doing here?"

"How did _you_ get under the bed?" Remus asked. Felicia, being much more in tune with the cat than Remus was with the wolf, suddenly remembered the previous night vividly.

"Holy shit, you're the wolf? The one that fucking chased me under the bed last night?" Felicia shrieked. The bits and pieces of the night before that were floating around in Remus' head suddenly clicked together with Felicia's words.

"You're the cat?" He exclaimed, substantially calmer than Felicia.

"But how?" They said in unison. Green eyes locked on hazel.

"So what's your story, morning glory?" Felicia asked. "Wolf animagus or werewolf?"

"Werewolf." Remus confessed. "And you?"

"Werecat." Felicia blushed. "You realize we're still both buck naked," she said a bit sheepishly, and oh-so-astutely. A light blush rose to Remus' face.

"Yes, and I do believe that you're lying on my clothes."

"Oh? Oh, whoops, my bad." She scooted off his clothes, still preserving her dignity (not that she had to: Remus had by this point averted his eyes), and passed them to him.

"I'll stay under here until you're decent," Felicia said, her blush deepening. Not to be outdone, Remus' face reddened in kind as the man stood, only his ankles and feet now visible to Felicia. She saw what looked like a long scar running up his leg from his ankle.

"What happened to your leg?" She asked curiously.

"The wolf," Remus said simply.

"The wolf hurts you?" This was of course a foreign concept to Felicia. Having never really known a werewolf (the only werewolf at New Salem Witches' Academy had graduated when Felicia was a first year), she didn't know the details of the condition.

"Yes." A pair of patched, ragged pants was pulled up, effectively covering the scar. Felicia stuck her head out from under the bed, wishing desperately that she had her wand so that she could just 'accio' her clothes.

"I'll turn my back while you go back to the house." Remus offered, sensing Felicia's distress.

"What? I'm not going to _streak_!" She turned her head as far as she could to glare at Remus. The wizard simply sighed.

"Through that door is a secret passageway that leads to a trap door." Remus said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Felicia tentatively squirmed out from under the bed and stood, briefly taking in her surroundings. True to his word, Remus patiently had his back turned, currently standing at the window. She noticed that the sheets on the bed looked as though blood had been washed out of them, and there were deep claw marks in the floor that showed the destructive fury of the wolf. She walked over to the door and shoved the heavy paw-proof bolts out of place. She opened the door and scampered down the earthen hallway, stopping when a piece of string smacked her in the face. She pulled on it, and sure enough, a trap door swung down and smacked her in the back of the head. Grumbling, she hoisted herself out of the hole and walked to Remus' room.

She grabbed her clothes and quickly dressed. Felicia went back to the living room/dining room/kitchen, and was about to go back in the tunnel when something caught her eye. It was the picture of Remus and his three friends. With a start, Felicia realized why the Remus she knew seemed so sad: he was a wolf who had lost his pack. She stared at the picture, and the four boys grinned back. The one with tame black hair and fathomless grey eyes seemed to be staring at her.

'_Take care of him,'_ a voice in Felicia's mind said softly, sadly. The voice obviously belonged to a man, and a sudden chill caused Felicia to shiver. Had she just been visited by a spirit? With a gesture that could be construed as a nod, she tore her eyes away from the haunting grey eyes of the boy in the photo. She jumped down into the tunnel, scared out of her wits momentarily when she came face to face with Remus, who had come back up to the house. With a sheepish grin, she hoisted herself back up, and Remus followed moments later.

"That was an eventful full moon," Felicia said with a short laugh.

"I could have seriously injured you – even _killed_ you – last night. I told you not to go near the shed." Remus scolded.

"Oh come off it, Remus. Do you really think I had any more control over my actions last night than you did over yours?" Felicia asked. "I don't blame you, you were just being a dog. Just like I was being a cat," she pointed out logically.

"You know what curiosity did to the cat, don't you?" Remus asked. Felicia laughed, crawling out from under the table. Remus popped up on the other side.

"The wolf didn't hurt you last night, did he?" Felicia asked seriously.

"Not a scratch," Remus said with a reassuring smile. "He was too focused on you," he added with a laugh. Felicia flipped her ivory locks, mock preening.

"Isn't everyone?" She asked sweetly. Remus had to choke back a snort of laughter.

"But of course." He said only slightly sarcastically. The two of them were startled by the soft quack of the sleepy little fledgling duck in the corner. Remus smiled.

"I'll put tea on," Remus said, getting the water. He set the tea kettle on the counter and went to his room to get his wand. Might as well do it the wizarding way. When he came back, Felicia was still crouched in the corner, holding the now feathered (and what a fiasco _that_ had been, thought Remus as he remembered the ugly little naked duckling quacking in pain as the feathers sprouted from its skin) Warlock in her hands. He tapped the kettle with his wand, and immediately it began shrieking to announce that the water was boiling. Warlock quacked loudly, startled and annoyed. The fledgling flapped his little-used wings, taking off unsteadily and flying frantically toward Remus' face. Luckily, the wizard was holding his wand.

"_Impedimenta_!" He shouted, pointing it at the crazed duck. Warlock froze in midair, and started to fall.

"_Wingardium_ _Leviosa_!" Scratch that. Warlock just sort of floated there, looking bemusedly at his surrogate father. Felicia glared venomously. How dare he cast spells on her baby?

"_Finite Incantatem_!" She shouted, drawing her ivy wood wand and pointing it at Warlock. The fledgling recovered quickly, flying back toward Felicia and landing on her head.

"Good boy, Warlock!" Felicia cooed. "Did you see him, Remus? He flew! He flew for the very first time!" She seemed about as excited as a mother whose child just caught the snitch at his very first quidditch game. Had she not had her precious cargo on her head, she likely would have been bouncing up and down with joy.

"Yes, right towards my face," Remus muttered, pouring the tea. "How was I supposed to miss an aggravated duck flying toward my face?" Felicia walked over to the table, Warlock still perched on her head. The young witch sat down, and Remus sat across from her after getting out the milk and sugar. Felicia, who had developed a taste for milk in her tea, added a bit of both. Remus did the same, only with less milk and more sugar.

"The three in the photo...they knew, didn't they?" Felicia asked. Remus looked up, slightly surprised at the question, then nodded.

"And they helped." Felicia said. Again, Remus nodded.

"They became animagi in our fifth year. They were with me during transformations, and with them, the wolf became tamer."

"Maybe if I'm here every full moon, the wolf'll get used to me." Felicia said with a smile. "Then he won't hurt you anymore."

"Maybe. But soon your rooms at Hogwarts will be ready, so we likely won't be able to find out." Remus pointed out.

"Why not? One of the other professors will cover for me during the day, right? I can floo or Apparate, and be here before moonrise." Remus shook his head.

"I can't ask you to do that," he said softly.

"That's the point. You're not asking me to do it. I'm doing it of my own choice, which means whether you like it or not. And anyway, there's no potion to let a werecat keep their mind during the full moon. I'm safer and the students and faculty are safer if I'm here, since neither of us can change the other." Felicia again made a point.

"But what if the wolf--" Remus started. Felicia put her hand on his.

"Ap-up-up. No arguing. The wolf won't hurt me. I have a plan." Remus nodded. Felicia smiled.

"I used to have friends like yours," she said softly, taking her hand back. "My boyfriend was the only one to successfully become an animagus, but with just him, it was enough to calm me down so that I wouldn't hurt my other two friends. I know what it's like to have friends who care." Her voice was solemn, sad, and her gaze was faraway. "And I know what it's like to be the last one left."

---------

So, readers, that was the full moon chapter. Likes? Dislikes? I know a lot of people are reading this. (245 hits! Wowza!)

(Felicia's nickname, Miss Matched, is a pun (people who know me groan) to be explained if I ever get around to writing her backstory. It just kind of sprung into my head. ;)


	9. Bygones and Herstory

Title: Felis Domesticatus vs Canis Lupus

Alternate title: Of Cats and Dogs

Rating: T (for swearing and lewd comments, cattishness)

Authoress: Rena Kaerutsukai

Summary: The cursed Defense Against the Dark Arts position has been refilled again, this time by a young woman. She does something that no other holder of this position has done, though: goes to the only available previous DADA professor for advice. That ex-professor is Remus John Lupin, who thinks that the new professor is a bit off her rocker. But they may just have more in common than he thinks. (implied SBRL)

Warnings for this chapter include: Swearing, name-calling, foot molestation, heinously bad puns, implied vampire death, implied character death, gore, depression, severe angst, slightly anti-America sentiments, and a lack of anything resembling a non-original character. (Except for the concept of Aurors, but even they're mostly OCs since the ones in this chapter are American.)

(Note: the author of this fic in no way agrees with the views and opinions expressed in this chapter. She would also like to mention that the anti-American sentiments are not directed toward the muggle government, but rather the American Federal Bureau of Magic.)

It's Felicia's past. Yes, you heard me right. Totally skippable, don't worry. The only thing mentioned in the next chapter is what can already be inferred: that Felicia's friends and her boyfriend are dead.

I know that I _swore_ I wouldn't write another OC chapter for a while, but here's another one. Really, isn't seven chapters a big enough gap? Just imagine that...um...some version of this is coming out of Felicia's mouth into Remus' ears over tea. Yeah. But of course, you get the full and unedited version, as it appears in Felicia's memory. If you actually are reading this, prepare for complete and total crap angst to the highest degree. With poetic punning, and just downright _bad _punning to boot. But, if you're sure you want to read it, then with no further ado, I present...

Chapter 8: Bygones and Herstory

* * *

The four laughed, sitting around the tiny table. Each held cards in their hand, and four new cards were dealt out onto the table. Yes, this means that they were playing kemps. 

"Stop kemps!" The boy/girl duo yelled in unison. The other two, both girls, groaned in defeat.

"You two are unstoppable." The youngest of the four said.

"We just have the groove, Naname." The girl in the boy/girl duo said, grabbing the boy's hand across the table.

"Yeah right, Felicia." The third girl said. "You and Seth are just signing by playing footsie. I know it." As if to prove the point, the two started molesting each others' feet underneath the table.

The four teens, Felicia Mayfair, Naname Kohito, Seth Darski, and Nascilla Tigris, were enjoying one another's company on a hot, balmy Sunday. Seth had snuck in, due to the fact that Felicia, Naname, and Nascilla attended the New Salem Witches Academy, which was, as the name implies, an all-girls school. They were sixth years, all four of them, and they were just having a little fun while the rest of their schools explored the wizarding community of Salem. As long as Naname and Nascilla were there, Felicia and Seth would behave themselves...well, for the most part. They loved spending time together, and were it not for the suggestion of a friendly game of kemps, they would be cuddling. Jokingly, Seth had once written on Felicia's prized Firebolt "I'd rather be cuddling." Felicia had gotten permission to stay behind, because that night was the full moon.

Evening rolled around, and the four were wrapped in a game of Password (with the score being Felicia and Seth: 350, Naname and Nascilla: 10), paying no attention to the time. The moon came in through the window, and mid-word, Felicia clutched her head with a groan. Seth picked her up with ease, his gaze worried. He could feel the fur prickling through her skin.

"Don't just sit there, she's transforming! Get the door open!" Seth yelled, as Felicia weakly thrashed and moaned in his arms. Naname jumped up and opened the door to the sleeping dorms, and Seth rushed in with Felicia. Naname and Nascilla sat down in the common room, waiting patiently. Seth set Felicia down on the bed, and transformed to his animagus form, allowing his fur to be clenched and tugged as the painful transformation took hold of Felicia. Soon, the white werecat was fully transformed, and Seth, his form being that of a small tuxedo cat, gently licked her face. She stood up, and rubbed her head against his. They rubbed against each other for a while, until finally Seth pulled away and jumped down off the bed. The werecat followed, with as close to a smile as a cat can get. They descended the stairs, and made their appearance before Naname and Nascilla.

"Misto! Vicky!" Naname exclaimed. "Hey Nascilla, it's Matched and Set!" The two cats rubbed against their friends' ankles, enjoying the pettings that they were getting because of it. Set's comforting presence kept the urge to attack Naname and Nascilla far away from his Matched's mind. The two cats curled up next to each other on the chair, purring contentedly. He served as her tie to her humanity, as they entwined their paws. Naname and Nascilla amused themselves, until the time came when the rest of the school was starting to return.

Matched and Set had fallen asleep together, awaiting the moon's set. When Naname and Nascilla were ready to retire for the night, they each picked up one of their friends, carrying the two cats up to the dormitory and setting them on Felicia's bed. The two cats resumed their cuddling, staying in that position as their friends slept. When they awoke in the morning, Felicia was curled around the feline form of Set. She shook him awake.

"Hey Set, wake up. You need to get back to your school before you're missed, honey." The tuxedo cat turned around and licked Felicia's face, before jumping out of her bed and dashing down the stairs. Felicia fell back asleep with a smile on her face.

Two years later, the four friends had graduated from their respective schools. Felicia and Seth had top marks in all but one of their subjects: Potions. Naname and Nascilla each had a particular strength: Naname's being Potions and Nascilla's being Charms. None of the four had had good enough marks on their O.W.L.s, N.E.W.T.s, and C.A.T.s to qualify for the elite rank of United States Auror. So they decided to combine their strengths in a company of their own. They became Matched Set, their name coming from the nicknames of the cofounders, Felicia and Seth.

Generally, all that Matched Set really did was dispel boggarts from underneath beds and in closets. They lived for the nights when something exciting happened, like a grindylow in Central Park. Eventually, they earned enough fame to be called on as backup by the Aurors. None of them would ever forget the night that the vampires banded together in a revolt. The numbers had been five to one, with the Aurors and Matched Set being the minority.

"I like those odds," Felicia had said as she splashed her friends then herself with garlic juice.

Matched Set had taken on their twenty opponents and then some, fighting more as a team than any of the Aurors, their black and white robes complementing the striking royal violet of the Aurors' robes. Between the twenty total participants on the side of Matched Set and the Aurors, they managed to keep the vampires at bay until morning, when the revolt ended abruptly. After that, if the Aurors needed help they would immediately call Matched Set. And Matched Set, happy to be seeing some Auror action, would bound to the scene like hyperactive puppies, oblivious to the condescension of the Aurors.

The call that sealed the fate of three of the four members of Matched Set came half an hour before moonrise on a foggy full moon's night. Felicia was already starting to feel queasy due to her impending transformation when the Auror Emergency Line rang. She raised her wand, having been given orders to stay on the couch for now, and muttered 'Accio phone'. The phone flew to her hand, and she put it to her ear.

"Matched Set, Miss Matched speaking." She said somewhat dryly. Seth came up behind her, having snuck in. He took the phone from her and set the banana split that he'd run out to get for her in her hand.

"This is Mr. Set." Seth said. A few nods, and a worried expression settled on his face.

"Are you sure? Right now?" He asked. A few more nods.

"A-alright," Seth faltered, "we'll be there soon." He hung up the phone, and turned to Felicia.

"The Aurors need us. The werewolves and the newest vampires are revolting together, and it's not going to be pretty." Seth explained. Felicia, eating her banana split, nodded.

"I'm staying here with you." Felicia almost choked.

"What? No! I'm not worth endangering Naname and Nascilla!" She blurted. Gaining control over herself once more, she tried again. "I'll be fine alone. What do you think I did before I met you? It sounds like the Aurors will need all the help that they can get, and that means you need to go." Felicia said logically.

"If you're sure you'll be alright..." Seth said uncertainly.

"I'll be _fine_, Seth." Felicia said. "Go."

"Naname, Nascilla! We've been called out! Come on, let's go!" Seth yelled. The two other witches ran out, pulling their black and white robes on.

"What about Felicia?" Naname asked. Felicia grinned.

"I'll be fine. It's you guys' turn to shine tonight." She said. "Shoo. Go. Now." She said, making shooing motions with her hands. The three, in their robes, went toward the door.

"See you later, Felicia. Good luck." Naname and Nascilla said cheerfully.

"I love you." Seth said softly.

"I love you too." Felicia said with a smile. And with that, the three left, leaving Felicia alone a mere five minutes until moonrise.

That night was blur of chaos, confusion, and loneliness. For the first time, Felicia didn't fall asleep at all, but stayed awake through the night, pacing anxiously and waiting for her matched half to return.

She was awake even when the moon set and she transformed back to herself. By that point, she was too worried about her friends to get the sleep that she needed, exhausted as she was by the pain of the transformation. They should be back by now. She sat by the window, too nervous to fidget and too calm to lose focus. Finally, when a knock came to the door, she ran as fast as she could, hoping against hope that it was her friends. Naname and Nascilla were both prone to losing their key, and Seth might have lost his in the battle. Yeah, Felicia reasoned, that's probably what happened. She opened the door, and her messy white locks seemed to stand out from her head even more. Her eyes widened and her mind shut down as it felt like her heart had stopped beating and sunk like a stone to the pit of her stomach. Her would-be gasp hitched short and caught in her chest.

At the door was a young Auror who had graduated from New Salem Witches' Academy the year before Felicia, Naname, and Nascilla. The young woman's heinously bright violet robe was stained with dark blood, and in her arms was an all-too-familiar black and white robe. The two Aurors standing behind the one who had knocked, both former classmates of Seth's and ex-boyfriends of Naname and Nascilla, each held a bloodstained black and white robe as well.

"Miss Matched, is it alright if we come in?" The woman asked. Felicia nodded numbly, standing aside for them to enter. They stood inside with barely enough room for her to shut the door.

"Miss Matched, I know this will be difficult to hear, but I would like you to know that they likely didn't suffer." The woman began. Tears came to Felicia's eyes.

"They're...dead? A-all three of them?" She managed to choke. The three Aurors glanced briefly at each other, and then the woman nodded. Felicia's whole body lurched with the force of the sob that escaped her throat.

"Get out." She said firmly, her tone menacing even through the lump in her throat.

"But Miss Matched...um..." The woman made a nodding motion toward the bloodstained robe in her arms.

"Leave them. Get your filthy hands off them and get out of my house!" Felicia screamed desperately, snatching the savaged robe from the young Auror's arms. The two men set the robes that they carried down on the wooden chair next to them, and went out in the hallway.

"We'll be in touch." The woman said compassionately, escaping to the hallway with her escort, away from the crazed-looking Felicia. The werecat slammed the door as hard as she could, and then looked down at the robe that she held. It was Seth's robe, Felicia could tell from the pattern. Hers, Naname's, and Nascilla's robes had black on the left and white on the right, while Seth's was the reverse. She choked out a sob, clutching the bloodstained and tattered robe to her. Tears flowed freely from her eyes, and all that she could whisper as she sobbed into the cottony fabric of the robe was 'Seth'.

Why had she made him go? If she hadn't insisted, he would have ignored the call. He wouldn't have sent Naname and Nascilla out alone. All of them would still be here. She would be clutching Seth, her Seth, to her instead of his savaged robe. She could still smell his scent, the unique scent of Seth, even through the coppery smell of his blood. Seth was dead. Naname was dead. Nascilla was dead. And it was all Felicia's fault.

Two days later, the Auror Emergency Line rang again. Felicia snatched it off the hook, and didn't even give the caller time to respond.

"IF YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU, THEN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE KILLED MY FRIENDS YOU BASTARDS!" Felicia screamed into the phone, tears streaming down her cheeks. "NEVER USE THIS LINE AGAIN!" She slammed the phone back onto its cradle, and then feeling that that wasn't enough of a vent for her grief, she picked up the phone and threw it at the wall. A sob escaped her and she fell to her knees. It wasn't fair. Why did everyone who loved her have to die?

A week later, she got a visit from the chief Auror of the United States. When he left, she was holding three medals for bravery and martyrdom in the service of the country. In a daze, she left the house and went to the respective gravesites of Seth, Naname, and Nascilla. She dug down until she hit the coffin, and set the medal on top of it before covering the fresh grave over again, tears streaming down her face causing the dirt to stick to her pristine white gloves, but she didn't care. She was beyond caring about anything. She felt as though she could never love another human being. The caretaker of the cemetery where Seth was entombed found her asleep on his grave, having obviously cried herself to sleep. He offered to drive her home, and she just nodded.

As soon as she walked in the door, she collapsed out of exhaustion. She didn't wake up for four days and only then because a black leather boot was toeing her in the ribcage. A flash of vivid purple as the figure next to her squatted down, and immediately Felicia knew that it was another Auror.

"Miss Matched, I know what you're going through—" The Auror began.

"Never call me that again. That name died when my friends died. And you don't know what I'm going through, you bitch. You don't know at all." Felicia was beyond tears, beyond anger, beyond emotion.

"Er—fine, Miss _Mayfair_, then. I've come to say that your friends, with their bravery and selfless sacrifice for the good of our country, have earned the title of First Class Honorary Aurors." The young Auror said.

"We always wondered what we'd have to do to get that title." Felicia said with a dry, humorless laugh. "I guess now we know. Now we know that this damn country only pays any attention to you if you die." Felicia's green eyes were dull and emotionless, her voice lacking any feeling or passion that it might have once possessed. She had lost everything. The Auror was still there when she passed out again, and Apparated her to the nearby hospital for treatment. Though she was unconscious, or perhaps because of it, she experienced the pain of Side-Alonging much more acutely.

It had taken her three years to get over her depression. Three years in and out of hospitals, three years of her health waxing and waning with the moon. And it didn't help that the cat within her mind couldn't grasp the fact that her opposite number was never coming back. Every month the cat grew more and more listless, pining away loudly for the Mistoffelees to her Victoria. And the rest of the time, Felicia pined away silently for her matched set, for the love of her life to sweep her into his arms and kiss her like there was no tomorrow. Without him, there was no tomorrow, no today. Only yesterdays.

Without her Set, Miss Matched was mismatched.

* * *

Um, yeah. Obviously Felicia left out the fact that her friends had fought – and likely were killed by – werewolves. She may be freakishly insensitive (about Remus' broomphobia, for instance) but she's not _that_ freakishly insensitive. And the poetic last few sentences were my doing entirely. All bad puns are mine too. 


	10. The Miracle of Chocolate

Title: Felis Domesticatus vs Canis Lupus

Alternate title: Of Cats and Dogs

Rating: T (for swearing and lewd comments, cattishness)

Authoress: Rena Kaerutsukai

Summary: The cursed Defense Against the Dark Arts position has been refilled again, this time by a young woman. She does something that no other holder of this position has done, though: goes to the only available previous DADA professor for advice. That ex-professor is Remus John Lupin, who thinks that the new professor is a bit off her rocker. But they may just have more in common than he thinks. (implied SBRL)

The reason for the double-post is because I didn't want to leave you with just an OC chapter to chew on.

I've been reading too many Remus torture fics, damn it. And I blame Eleonora1, who needs to update everything. _Standing Still_ and _Lionsnake_ _Manor_, especially. (All titles indicated are a hint if the author ever stumbles across this story, though she likely won't.)

Anyway, after the thoroughly depressing last chapter, here's another chapter chock full of Remus, Felicia, and of course (quickly becoming my favorite OC in this story) Warlock.

To all who have reviewed: Warlock plushies! –tosses plushies to the throng-

Chapter 9: The Miracle of Chocolate

* * *

Felicia seemed absorbed in her tea, after telling her story. Remus too was looking down at his cup, lost in his own painful memories. Even Warlock was silent, though in the backs of his surrogate parents' minds they knew that wouldn't last. And it didn't. The fledgling duck's head lifted, and he looked at both of his surrogate parents as if gauging which one needed comfort more. He chose Felicia, waddling over to her and pecking her hand with a soft quack. Remus looked up, and Felicia chuckled, stroking the little duckling. 

"I cannot imagine what that must be like." Remus said. Felicia smiled sadly.

"As much as it still hurts, at least I know that it didn't hurt them," she said softly. A comforting smile came to Remus' face, and he patted her hand across the tiny table.

"Even the smallest solace helps to ease the pain," he said wisely. Felicia sniffled, wiping her eyes.

"Oh, I trained myself to stay in the present, and here I am babbling on about the past," she said with a tiny, slightly hysterical laugh.

"It's alright to remember," Remus said reassuringly. Seeing that she wasn't going to be swayed so easily, he stood from the table. He could sense the sadness – no, _depression_ – rolling off of Felicia in waves. And what was the best cure for depression that Remus knew? He rummaged about in the cupboard until he found what he was looking for: a chocolate bar. He unwrapped it, Felicia studying his actions curiously. With a friendly smile, Remus broke off a large piece of the chocolate and handed it to her. She took it, returning his smile, and nibbled on it. She knew of and believed in the magical properties of chocolate (being a woman, she found it the only remedy for her gender-specific monthly malady), but _damn_ she wasn't expecting this. Instantly, she felt happy, almost _giddy_, and knew that this was not normal chocolate. Remus chuckled at the amazed expression that crossed the werecat's face. Warlock cocked his head curiously. What had made his mommy so much happier? He decided to nibble the strange substance, tossing his head back to swallow a bite of chocolate. With wild quacks of happiness, Warlock flew spinning up into the air like a little helicopter. At this, Remus and Felicia started laughing, as Remus too took a bite of his piece of miracle chocolate. The effect really was impressive, he observed. He wondered why he'd never noticed that before. Felicia, unused to and overdosing on the euphoria from the chocolate, fell off her chair laughing at the sugar-high Warlock, who was still flying giddily around in circles. Remus reined in his sugar rush quickly.

"Are you alright?" He asked, bending to look under the table—at the still-open trap door that Felicia had just slid through. He could still hear her laughing, so she wasn't hurt. If anything, she was laughing harder because she had fallen through the trapdoor. He made a mental note to not give her as much chocolate next time.

"I'm..." she paused a moment to laugh loudly. "I'm fine!" She called, bursting into laughter again. Idly, Remus wondered if she was like this _every_ time that she had chocolate, or whether the chocolate in his stash was more potent than what she usually had.

"Can you stop laughing long enough to climb back out of the trap door?" Remus called down.

"Oh look, there's another passageway!" Felicia squealed. Before Remus could tell her that no, there actually _wasn't_ another passageway, the sound of her smacking against the packed earth wall of the crude corridor wafted up from the trap door. So, Remus thought to himself, not only did she get the worst case of the giggles that he had ever seen in a human being, but she also apparently became dim-witted. Pity, she seemed to possess an intellect that rivaled Remus' when she wasn't under the influence of chocolate. He moved off of his chair to the floor, extending his hand through the trap door to haul Felicia up. He felt her grab his hand, sobriety apparently returned to her when she ran into the wall, and he hoisted her out of the door with surprising strength. He slammed the trapdoor shut like he should have done after they had first emerged.

"Why didn't you tell me that there was no second passageway?" Felicia asked. Remus laughed.

"You decided to find out manually before I could stop you," he said.

"Well it certainly brought me down off my sugar high," she pouted. Again, Remus laughed, and Felicia laughed with him. Warlock fluttered under the table, landing unsteadily on Remus' shoulder. The fledgling nipped at the werewolf's earlobe and fled to the safer ground of Felicia's head, as the werecat laughed hysterically and Remus rubbed his sore ear.

That night, as they were saying good night, Felicia embraced Remus warmly as she had every night since her arrival. Only this time, the embrace was returned, if only slightly. The werecat smiled and pulled back.

"Thanks again. For everything," she said.

"Oh no, I'm afraid that I'm the one who owes you thanks for keeping me safe from the wolf last night, even though your methods were a bit...unusual," he said with a warm smile.

"I owe you for keeping the cat occupied last night. By the way, I call her Vicky." Felicia silently prompted Remus to divulge his nickname for the wolf, sending the message that she would only use the name he gave with his permission. He understood this, his warm hazel gaze softening.

"My friends called him – and me – Moony." Remus felt truly, and oddly, as if in Felicia he had found someone more like him even than the other Marauders. A kindred spirit of sorts. "Do feel free to apply the name, as well." He added in a friendly tone. Felicia nodded.

"Good night, Mr. Moony," she said with a smile.

"Good night, Miss Vicky," he returned, leaving her in the living room with the already sleeping Warlock. She settled down for the night, but found it hard to fall asleep. When she had first met Remus, she had thought that they were completely different. The only similarity that she had seen at the time was the fact that they were reading the same book.

But now that she knew him better, had lived under the same roof with him now for two weeks, and had spent a full moon with him, she realized that they were more alike than she thought. They both were raging bibliophiles (or rabid booklovers was another way to put it), and they both excelled in Defense Against the Dark Arts (though that could be due to the fact that they were both Dark creatures). They were both the last one left of their respective quartets, as well.

Felicia had found a kindred spirit in Remus; that much she knew. And already, she loved the kindly werewolf. Not in a romantic way, but rather as a brother or a dear friend. And she would keep true to her promise; she would be here every full moon from now on, simply because she had told Remus that she would. She wouldn't fail the only friend that she had in England, because she knew what she could do to help.

And no matter what the cost, she wouldn't let Moony hurt Remus anymore: she and Vicky were in agreement on that.

Vicky liked Moony, because he was a challenge. Because she knew that (even though he had tried to kill her) deep down, he was just a great big puppy. The question was: how would she go about digging that far down, to find Moony's inner puppy? As Felicia slept, in the recesses of her mind, the cat was forming a plan.


End file.
